A day before New Year..

Procrastination still drags me now since Christmas. I promised to make a blog but ended up..you know.. procrastinating. Haha! But hey! Congratulations for me! It's still me after 17 years, nothing less, nothing more. :D

Anyway, after all, ill still type down my not-so-vain Christmas Vacation. Well, to tell you the truth, I felt no merry that day. I went back to our province--as I wished.; kissed our loving grandma and grandpa on their cheek; went to church just like my high school days; visited my cousin, Bernadette and her son; threw flat stones on the shore trying to bounce it twice (my boyfriend and I used to dare each other who does the best trick); and lastly [and thankfully] a gallon of vanilla ice cream in front of the screen. I watched the movie The Notebook. My friends used to talk about it when I was in high school and tells me "you must watch it! It's a great one." I hate joining the crowd. It's just that I do not appreciate a thing being appreciated by others I knew at the same time. Maybe because it's baduy. Most people kasi used to notice and like something when it is uso and I HATE IT. We must appreciate something by ourselves, not because others do. :T

Anyway#2, the aftershock :D,
     Again, spent the day with my beep once message tone; laptop on my lap; back on the headboard; a scraggy and old trousers; dandruff making their lives on my scalp [arrgh that's soo true x((] . This was the day i made Hopeless Courage and 3 numb white roses. Mind over fingertips, I just wrote whatever and wherever my mind goes through. Watched Harry Potter: The Half-blood Prince and read some Stephen Hawkings' precious books. I am not a real Harry Potter addict, but a quite Daniel Radcliffe's. And whew! Ends my day with the phone hanged behind my ears waiting for me to snore :))


December 26, 2010
     It's me packing my clothes! I hate packing my things from somewhere to my bag, I always have this trouble of deciding what and which thing to bring. Thanks for my Mom who used to yell at me: "FASTER!!!" And again, kiss goodbye to my loving grandparents. I grew up with them, and have to pursue my studies away...far..far..away from them :((


On the bus.. We met this glamorous lady and lately got so turned off the way she speaks and whatever. She was talking on her mobile phone as if she's in her room and yelling trashed talks. What's really freaking out was.......her real bad breath. [i'm glad you read it :D] My cousin pretended that she has a bad cough that she needs to cover her mouth and ended up coughing pretentiously the entire trip. :T

Hopeless Courage

This is the wealth that was given to me

Perpetual inadequacy which is much perfect than nothing

A morsel devoutness of one’s identity

As mourning ages, cinder fights

Since there is naught but gray and nights

--the everlasting grief ever be

Slavery, lunacy, perplexity of oneself

For peace is within death

Askance, even shadow left you behind

And bravery is not to compete but to survive

To survive for the morsel identity to remain

For dawn is the other way to flee

And if twilight mollifies every sudden peek

May fractions be healed?

But this courage won’t seem to last

And hope can barely defend

Be fiddled, which would you carry on?

When it’s between soul and faith

And time can’t help but run

I am brave! I am brave! –courage forgoes

But the clouds seemed to fight

What will I do when there is no ‘next’?

--The Daughter of Whatsis

Amy Says

by: Flyleaf

Amy says she's all alone
Says the world doesn't even know
About the pain she hides inside
Says happiness is just a lie
Smell the roses, throw them down
Just whisper, don't make a sound
Don't want the world to know the truth
You've been broken and abused...by you

And Amy says
"I see you laughing at the rain that hits your face
With your arms stretched open soaking in the love
In a world I find so hard you find so beautiful
There's a hope in you deep inside for me."

The colors of her mind
Bleed into each other
And as the morning melts the night
And the stars enchant another
While her eyes are still held shut
She can hear you breathing softly
Your words echo in her mind
And your words are clear
And she knows that you are here
You are here

I see her laughing at the rain that hits her face
With her arms stretched open soaking in the love
In a world she found so hard she finds so beautiful
There's a hope in her deep inside from you

As if Anyone Cared

Being a princess is now over..
jig-saw puzzle will forever be a puzzle..
Pictures doesn't always show the exact emotion..
Wind is to dissolve the perfect ambiance..
Smoke always betray me..
Desire keeps me pressured..
Help fulfills which part i do not need..
Crazy.. It's all crazy
I just can't wait to be fetched by such identity..
So dark, dusty, eerie and vain
I don't even know what I am saying
It's my mind, and I can't help it
Worst. My eyes never seek what my hands can reach.
Desires.. Desires..
When will you stop making fun of me?

--The Daughter of Whatsis

Sally's Song

 I sense there's something in the wind
That feels like tragedy's at hand
And though I'd like to stand by him
Can't shake this feeling that I have
The worst is just around the bend

And does he notice my feelings for him?
And will he see how much he means to me?
I think it's not to be

What will become of my dear friend?
Where will his actions lead us then?
Although I'd like to join the crowd
In their enthusiastic cloud
Try as I may, it doesn't last

And will we ever end up together?
no, I think not, it's never to become
For I am not the one

...Just posted my so-called-status-of-the-day. It's been 3 years since when i encountered this song, and been tryin' to perform it on my room. (and I'm proud to say that I'm halfway now!:D )

I now found its purpose..dealing with the complete devaluation of oneself--infatuation. Anyway, I am now brooking it! ;)